I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
