i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Girls should come with a carfax report
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We need to get me chipped asap
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
