You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
im holly from the hills drunk
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
