Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize