How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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