Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
