Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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