Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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