my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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