You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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