you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
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Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
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I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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