Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
