Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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