youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
