i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
