my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
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Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
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you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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