i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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