Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
