Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
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