Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
