So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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