she was so not down for the gang bang
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
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