Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
