No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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