All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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