To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
