And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You made out with two different species that night
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
