Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
