All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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