you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
