Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
