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i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she peed on how many people?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
