every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
