I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
