yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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