i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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