I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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