but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
