She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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