So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
True strength comes from lack of pants
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
