Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So squirting runs in the family.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
