where am i from again
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You need a sexual gate keeper
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
