Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
