Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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