I heard we made out
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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