once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
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I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
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I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize