I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
