T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
