we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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