The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
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We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
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My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
True college students do jello shots in the library
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