i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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