dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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