So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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