I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize