dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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