I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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