i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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